In the beginning, there was Dr. Benjamin Spock. Fifty years and five editions later, his Baby and Child Care (Pocket Books. $18) is still one of the most thorough and clear-eyed of the guides. In briskly titled chunks (“Reasons for weaning from the bottle at one year,” “Joint and growing pains”), he says what he thinks and why, then moves on. He is against walkers, in favor of two or three hours of fresh air each day and prefers pacifiers over thumb-sucking. Skeptical of professional advice givers, he tells new parents, “Don’t be overawed by what the experts say. Don’t be afraid to trust your own common sense.” Ironically, though, he is particularly good on illnesses and other questions where common sense alone won’t cut it.
Just as good are the “What to Expect” books, by Arlene Eisenberg, Heidi E. Murkoff and Sandee E. Hathaway (Workman-Publishing. $12.95). What to Expect the First Year and What to Expect the Toddler Years are organized chronologically by month–helpfully letting you in on what the devious little tyke has in store next. There are excellent sections on topics ranging from breast-feeding to special-needs children, and a handy chart detailing common child illnesses (see if yours can get them all!). What makes these books stand out are the long question-and-answer sections. “My baby suddenly turned two colors–reddish blue on the bottom and pale on the top. What’s wrong with her.?” At one time or another every parent is convinced his kid is breaking new ground in weirdness. It’s reassuring to learn that plenty of others have been there before.
Penelope Leach’s classic, Your Baby & Child (Knopf. $19.95), is by far the most pleasurable to read. Unlike the others, Leach explains things from the baby’s point of view. This leads her to reject some of the advice in other books. Take getting the kid to sleep. Spock advises letting him cry it out. Leach finds that ridiculous. Sending a baby the message that “it’s no good crying because I’m not going to come back no matter how sad you are,” she writes, “can only make him more sure that it is dangerous to let you go at all.” Leach is particularly good on fussy children, and coaxing hunger-strikers to eat.
T. Berry Brazelton’s best seller, Touchpoints (Addison Wesley. $14.95), is becoming a night-stand staple. Don’t turn to this “map of behavioral and emotional development” when your kid has the mumps. It isn’t a medical guide. But if you’re going nuts because she won’t stop saying “no” or refuses to speak to anyone but her imaginary cat, Brazelton can help. Drawing on his own pediatric practice and research, he elegantly explains how children learn to interact with the people and things around them–and how to tell a potential problem from behavior that may seem odd, but is actually normal.
